Harry Reid: Koch brothers are pro-life because they kidnap and eat live babies

Reid AP

On May 7, 2014, Democratic Senator Harry Reid of Nevada made the claim that the Koch Brothers are one of the “main causes” of Climate Change.

“While the Koch brothers admit to not being experts on the matter, these billionaire oil tycoons are certainly experts at contributing to climate change. That’s what they do very well. They are one of the main causes of this. Not a cause, one of the main causes.” – Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.), floor speech, May 7, 2014

The Washington Post gave this claim three “Pinocchios.” The paper — no friend to conservatives — also noted that the private citizens seems to be bogeymen for the Democratic Party after Mr. Reid called them “un-American” on the Senate floor, in addition to claiming that “all” horror stories about Obamacare are “untrue” — tall tales cooked up by the Koch brothers. And, speaking of cooked, Sen. Reid is back with another charge — the Koch brothers are pro-life because they eat live babies.

Speaking at a fundraiser hosted by Reid donor and billionaire casino owner Sheldon Adelson on Saturday night (see Jon Stewart’s commentary on the history between the two), the senator said:

On Aug 2, 2012, I said ““The word’s out that he [Romney] hasn’t paid any taxes for 10 years,” and the Washington Post gave me four “Pinocchios,” for the claim. The paper thought I was reckless for saying a “source” told me that it was true and that “a number of people” (all unnamed) verified it. Conservative bloggers made jokes about “sources” that told them I had a pederasty problem. Well, I’m here to tell you that the real problem is the Koch brothers and that my same reliable sources have told me that they are pro-life because they and their henchmen running American for Prosperity have a voracious appetite for live babies.

Make no mistake — this is no Jonathan Swift satire. This is real, because we know for a fact that the Koch brothers are behind Global Warming, Climate Change, Climate Disruption and all the hurricanes and hot weather and cold weather and unseasonably mild weather that comes along with it.

The FBI had over 660,000 missing persons cases filed with the National Crime Information Center in 2012. And do you know why the majority of those missing persons went missing to begin with? The Koch brothers.

This is not petty politics. This is not pitting American against American. This is not divide and conquer. This is real, which is why I ask you to chip in whatever disposable income you have to my reelection campaign, the coffers of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee and all of our allies on the left side of the political spectrum. I ask you to join with me, my billion friend Sheldon Adelson, billionaires like George Soros and Hollywood millionaires like George Clooney, Steven Spielberg, and Harvey Weinstein as we take on the corrupt baby-eating money of the Koch brothers.

After word of the baby-eating Koch brothers charge made its way to Twitter and other social media platforms, reporters for The Washington Post reached out to Sen. Reid’s chief of staff, David Krone, who said:

“It’s been an open secret in Washington, D.C. for years that the Koch brothers eat kidnapped babies, and that they eat them with foie gras. It’s time for the American people to know the truth, and Sen. Reid stepped up to the plate. You want names? I’d tell you, but the Koch brothers might make those patriotic whistle blowers disappear. You’ll just have to take my word for it.”

Sen. Reid is scheduled to speak at Spring Valley Hospital Medical Center in Las Vegas in Monday. News outlets have been informed that the senator will connect the Koch brothers with the Middle East Respiratory Syndrome (MERS) is viral respiratory illness, as well as other infectious diseases.

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