ESPN Apologizes for “Chink” Headline, Stands By Chinese Exclusion Act.

ESPN has apologized for its racist slur to the Asian community, but risks upsetting even more viewers by standing by The Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882.

After annoying Asians that came across ESPN’s “Chink in the Armor” headline, the network has sacked the “person responsible” for the editorial snafu. For those not in the know, it looks like the New York Knicks have a budding star in their midst, and he just happens to be Asian—but not of the freakishly gigantic variety usually imported from overseas. No, this kid is home grown and a Harvard graduate. After a recent loss, one of ESPN’s best and brightest thought it might be wise to throw up a headline with “chink” in it. The rest is history.

In a bizarre news release late Sunday, the sports giant released the following statement:

“We regret using a racist slur in our coverage of Jeremy Lin. In 2012, we sometimes forget that in addition to women, the black community, the hispanic community, the gay community, the disabled, Muslims, transgender, and little people, that Asians have historically been subject to vicious attacks and intolerance. Steps have been taken to ensure this never happens again—until it does. Regardless, ESPN stands by the Chinese Exclusion Act. The Asians of 1882 were a different story, immigrants who most certainly would not have participated in American sporting events of the era. Banning Chinese immigrants for a decade—and their subversive work ethic—ensured 24 hour sports networks like ours would flourish over 100 years later. Moving forward, ESPN will only make comedic references to Christians, Catholics, and Polish people (if that comes back in style again).”

The Associated Press tried to find the Asian equivalent of Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton for a reaction, but was unable to do so. Anonymous sources within AP, fearful that they might cause another dust-up, said off the record that all candidates ended up being engineers and doctors who were disinterested in their story.

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One thought on “ESPN Apologizes for “Chink” Headline, Stands By Chinese Exclusion Act.

  1. My Dear Doctor,

    Though seldom have I praised your words, with these, your most recent, comments; I must agree, wholeheartedly. Over the objection of Doctor Franklin, the words “E Pluribus Unum” were incorporated not only upon myriad documents during and after our revolution. These words have, from that humble beginning, dwelt upon the currency and within the heart of our nation. No one at the beginning of these United States of America could have predicted today. Yet, we persevere.

    My very best to your mother,

    Silence

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