If Obama lies about the NSA on The Tonight Show and no one notices, did he really lie?

Obama Jay Leno

Do you remember when President Obama went on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and told Americans not to worry about NSA spying programs? Yes? Well, it turns out he was sort of wrong. And by sort of wrong, I mean he lied through his teeth.

WASHINGTON — The National Security Agency collected the emails of tens of thousands of Americans for three years before acknowledging the problem in 2011 and bringing it to the attention of the secret intelligence court, which ordered the program overhauled.

Officials disclosed the history of that unlawful surveillance Wednesday, releasing three partially redacted opinions of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court, which detailed the concerns judges had about how the NSA had been siphoning data from the Internet in an effort to collect foreign intelligence.

On The Tonight Show, Mr. Obama said our NSA programs were a “critical component” to our counter-terrorism and that “there is no spying on Americans.” He added: “None of the revelations showed that government has abused these powers.”

Question: How does reading tens-of-thousands of emails written by Americans with no connection to terror not constitute a.) spying or b.) an abuse of power?

Since when did reading your email get lumped in with the “meta data” the federal government collects as you surf the Internet?

If President Obama lies on The Tonight Show and no one notices, did he really lie?

The short answer to all of these questions is this: it doesn’t matter until 2016, because The Cult of Barack Obama is immune to any facts or figures or “inconvenient truths” that might make them rethink the “Hope and Change” hat, t-shirt, bumper sticker and sweatpants they bought in 2008 and 2012.

Here’s what does matter, though: I was right about my former NSA lover all along. When everyone else said I was just a tinfoil hat wearing guy with a blog that I returned to during random moments of sobriety, I soldiered on with the truth. And now, I’m vindicated:

The employees even had a code name for the practice – “Love-int” – meaning the gathering of intelligence on their partners.

Dianne Feinstein, a senator who chairs the Senate intelligence committee, said the NSA told her committee about a set of “isolated cases” that have occurred about once a year for the last 10 years. The spying was not within the US, and was carried out when one of the lovers was abroad.

One employee was disciplined for using the NSA’s resources to track a former spouse, the Associated Press said.

Regular readers to this blog know that I’m often abroad and, while I might not be in a state to blog, I do not cheat on my significant other. I am a serial monogamous who ingests strange substances and usually winds up in the Fourth Dimension — but never in the bed of another woman.

The moral of the story is this: Do not trust President Obama. Do not write anything in your private email you wouldn’t want some rookie at the NSA reading. And finally, do not enter into a romantic relationship with someone who works “for the government.”

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