‘Piss Christ’ returns to NYC; ‘Piss Mohammad’ still missing

It’s official: I will be going to New York City on September 27 to see the return of … ‘Piss Christ’!

On September 27, the Edward Tyler Nahem gallery in mid-town Manhattan will host an exhibit, “Body and Spirit: Andres Serrano 1987-2012,” that features Serrano’s “Piss Christ” piece; it shows a crucifix submerged in a jar of his own urine. The exhibit ends October 26.

The taxpayer funded (in part), award-winning crucifix dipped in urine has long been on my list of “must see” attractions, up there with ‘Piss Mohammed.’ Sadly, Andres Serrano has not been able to urinate since 1987.

Given the violence in the Middle East, there are rumblings in the art community that the “courageous” Serrano might not be as courageous as he’s been made out to be. Critics argue that despite his inability to pee and refusal to use a catheter, he has made use of his own blood and semen for other pieces of “art.”

Thankfully, Serrano has broken his silence:

“My muse is stubbornly silent when it comes to Islam. I tried ‘Pubic Hair Mohammed’ and ‘Diarrhea Mohammed’ but they just didn’t speak to me on a deeper level. I keep them from the light of day not because I fear reprisal, but because I fear letting down my fans.”

The New York Times is predicting that thousands of Christians will storm the city on Friday, September 28. The FBI reports that they will be carrying rocket propelled grenades, AK-47s and molotov cocktails. The Honduran ambassador to the United States will be in New York City on that day, but as of yet no further security precautions have been taken.

Yours truly, Dr. Bizarre, will be on the scene to report on the chaos. I also plan on asking Serrano how he has not urinated for decades. His kidneys must hate him.