Topless feminists try to win friends at Vatican protest by sticking crucifixes up their butts

Femen Vatican protestFeminism has been on a roll in November. Not only did feminist activists think it would be wise to attack the guy who is largely responsible for landing a space probe on a comet traveling 41,000 mph, but they also decided to try and make friends by sticking crucifixes in their butts to protest the Pope’s upcoming visit to the European Parliament in Strasbourg.

RT.com reported Nov. 14:

The topless protest group Femen have taken their brash form of activism to shockingly new heights (or depths), simulating anal sex with crucifixes outside the Vatican to protest the Pope’s alleged meddling in politics.

The three women pulled of their stunt on St. Peter’s Square, the enormous plaza located right in front of St. Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican City.

Two of them had “Keep it Inside” scrawled across their backs, an apparent reference to their anger that the Pope’s activities extend beyond the tiny papal enclave in Rome.

The trio, decked out in nothing but black ankle boots, leather miniskirts, and flower garlands in their hair, dropped to all fours and began simulating a lewd act with the crucifixes.

Given that the world has over 1.1 billion Catholics — and Pope Francis is the head of the Catholic Church — it seems as though it is entirely appropriate for world leaders to meet with him. It does seem just a bit inappropriate, however, for women to go topless on city streets, scrawl messages on their bodies in black marker, and shove crucifixes into their butts.

Perhaps even stranger is the fact that Femen promotes the organization as one that yearns to hack testicles with sickles and hold them up triumphantly — all while simultaneously telling average Europeans that the the pope is a threat to freedom.

Femen landing pageIronically, Femen has a lot in common with the Shakers from the 1700s. The shakers were celibate and died off, while pro-choice Femen members want nothing to do with men. My money is on the baby-makers to outlast the group that weirdly encourages women to grow into old, angry, and lonely souls whose crowning achievement in life will boil down to: “We got to stick crucifixes up our butts.”

‘Piss Christ’ returns to NYC; ‘Piss Mohammad’ still missing

It’s official: I will be going to New York City on September 27 to see the return of … ‘Piss Christ’!

On September 27, the Edward Tyler Nahem gallery in mid-town Manhattan will host an exhibit, “Body and Spirit: Andres Serrano 1987-2012,” that features Serrano’s “Piss Christ” piece; it shows a crucifix submerged in a jar of his own urine. The exhibit ends October 26.

The taxpayer funded (in part), award-winning crucifix dipped in urine has long been on my list of “must see” attractions, up there with ‘Piss Mohammed.’ Sadly, Andres Serrano has not been able to urinate since 1987.

Given the violence in the Middle East, there are rumblings in the art community that the “courageous” Serrano might not be as courageous as he’s been made out to be. Critics argue that despite his inability to pee and refusal to use a catheter, he has made use of his own blood and semen for other pieces of “art.”

Thankfully, Serrano has broken his silence:

“My muse is stubbornly silent when it comes to Islam. I tried ‘Pubic Hair Mohammed’ and ‘Diarrhea Mohammed’ but they just didn’t speak to me on a deeper level. I keep them from the light of day not because I fear reprisal, but because I fear letting down my fans.”

The New York Times is predicting that thousands of Christians will storm the city on Friday, September 28. The FBI reports that they will be carrying rocket propelled grenades, AK-47s and molotov cocktails. The Honduran ambassador to the United States will be in New York City on that day, but as of yet no further security precautions have been taken.

Yours truly, Dr. Bizarre, will be on the scene to report on the chaos. I also plan on asking Serrano how he has not urinated for decades. His kidneys must hate him.