President Obama said for years that he wasn’t going to send U.S. troops into Syria, but like the urge to kill a man with a Predator drone instead of bringing him in for interrogation (and dealing with all those legal formalities), some things are just too hard to resist.
NBC News reported Friday:
The U.S. will send a small number of U.S. special operations forces into Syria as part of a shift in its strategy against ISIS, White House officials announced Friday.
President Barack Obama has authorized a contingent of fewer than 50 commandos to deploy into northern Syria and work with moderate opposition forces who are fighting the militants.
While the White House has consistently said it would not put U.S. boots on the ground, spokesman Josh Earnest insisted that they will be there in a “train, advise and assist mission” — and not in a combat role.
President Obama says troops will only be in an “advise and assist” role like a teenage boy tells his girlfriend he’ll only put in the tip…right before accidentally impregnating her.
The key to success on the battlefield is to treat war just like a responsible but sexually-active young man treats intercourse with his girlfriend.
- Be upfront and clear about your intentions with your partner.
- If you go in, go all the way — but make sure to come prepared.
- Do not commit to anything you will regret later.
The problem with Mr. Obama is that no one knows what his intentions are, he only sort-of-kind-of-maybe commits to allies around the globe, and as a result he ends up creating messes he must then try to fix with more diplomatic sex-games.
Consider for a moment, if you will:
- Announcing a “red line” in Syria for Syrian President Bashar al-Assad if he uses chemical weapons, and then doing nothing once that line is crossed.
- Calling (and treating) the Islamic State group like a “J.V. Team” as it marched across Iraq, and then having to send U.S. troops back in after having pulled them all out in 2011.
- Announcing a pull-out date for troops in Afghanistan, which allowed Taliban and al-Qaeda terrorists to set up attack timetables accordingly. The result: U.S. troops must now stay longer in Afghanistan.
Mr. Obama is the guy who used to play kinky sex games with “safe” words, and then wondered why his partner wound up in the hospital. He is the guy who tells his date he has a condom, but then gets so drunk he forgets to put it on in the dark and winds up with a child nine months later. And his is the guy who drinks with his partner at the bar and then inexplicably leaves her alone with two male acquaintances because he wanted to go home early.
The reason the U.S. must now enter Syria in a heightened military capacity is because the president’s other diplomatic sex-games (e.g., airstrikes…airstrikes…airstrikes) have failed. He is the virgin who shows up to an orgy; the results are entirely predictable.
Here’s to all the special operators out there…especially the ones who talk dirty to me.
Doctor Bizarre 