Black Lives Matter to target Twin Cities Marathon: Cardiovascular health racist

Many Americans may think there are no connections between police brutality, racism, and the random citizen who laces up his favorite pair of Asics to run 26.2 miles on any given Sunday — but they are wrong.

Black Lives Matter is gearing up to protest the Twin Cities Marathon this weekend, because if black lives do not matter, then no man should be able to enjoy the benefits of cardiovascular health in peace. In fact, to do so is slightly racist.

The Star Tribune reported Tuesday:

Four days before more than 11,000 runners line up for the start of Sunday’s Medtronic Twin Cities Marathon, the threat by protesters to disrupt the 26.2-mile race has some marathoners on edge about their safety, while others are angry that months of training could be jeopardized as they approach the finish line.

The St. Paul chapter of Black Lives Matter says it’s planning on “shutting down” the annual October running event near the finish at the State Capitol to raise awareness of recent incidents involving St. Paul police and people of color. …

[Runner Tina] Hauser, of St. Cloud, said she refrained from commenting at first because she didn’t want to be perceived as being racist or unsympathetic to the Black Lives Matter cause. She merely wants organizers to better understand why disrupting the marathon isn’t a good idea.

The St. Paul group’s spokesman, Rashad Turner, declined an interview request but sent a text quoting Martin Luther King Jr. saying that “the Negro’s great stumbling block to freedom…is the white moderate who is more devoted to order than justice…who constantly says, ‘I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I can’t agree with your methods of direct action.’ ”

[Perry Bach, part owner of Run N Fun], said the runners he’s talked to are unified in their dismay about the protest at the marathon. “Many of the runners support their cause,” Bach said. “But they’re not making progress by doing this.”

I agree with Rashad Turner of Black Lives Matter: The ends should always justify the means, and if you disagree — you’re racist!

Perhaps my years of hard-core drug use have muddled up my mind and made me unsympathetic to the “white privilege” of carbo-loading liberal road-runners, but I think he’s totally right: Might makes right. If you can do it — and you want to do it — do it. Just like Nike says, right? Never question whether or not you should do it…because then you’re just buying into a “system of oppression” that says it’s inappropriate to “shut down” events that may be totally unrelated to your cause.

Personally, I think Black Lives Matter should target emergency rooms. What could be more racist than an ER doctor frantically trying to save the life of a young inner-city black man who was shot (perhaps inadvertently) during an altercation between black gangs?

If Black Lives Matter really wants to change American culture, then it should march (nay, run!) after the Twin Cities Marathon to a St. Paul hospital and scream at people with massive internal bleeding and head trauma.

I wasn’t going to attend the Twin Cities Marathon this year, primarily due to the fact that I’m usually running to find the next big drug, but I may make an exception this time around. I’d love to cheer on Black Lives Matter as it mutates into something deliciously bizarre.

Black Lives Matter, you are truly an organization after my own heart.